13, February 2017
Biya turns 84: A birthday of many dangers 1
President Paul Biya is celebrating his eighty-four (84) birthday today, February the 13th, 2017. The Cameroonian dictator has reportedly spent some fifty years in Cameroon’s top administration and nearly 35 as Head of State. Biya’s birthday celebrations have been marred by the Anglophone crisis and the lack of electricity and drinking water in his home constituency over the past weeks.
After surviving a controversial coup attempt in April 1984, the violent demonstrations during the advent of multi-party politics in 1990 including the 2008 hunger riots and the war against the Nigerian Islamist sect, Boko Haram, Biya’s regime is now confronting one of the greatest challenges in its history-the Anglophone uprising.
Originally a trade union affair, the Anglophone issue has quickly and very clearly evolved and turned out to be political in nature. To be sure, Southern Cameroons demands have moved from a two-state federalism to complete and total secession. The struggle headed by the Cameroon Anglophone Civil Society Consortium has received the support of every single West Cameroonian both at home and in the Diaspora including Senator Mafany Musonge, Minister Atanga Nji and Mayor Ekema Patrick.
Publicly, the 84 year-old Francophone politician affirmed the uniqueness and indivisibility of Cameroon. He, in a typical Francophone arrogance boasted that the country, “will remain one and indivisible.” Biya described Southern Cameroons freedom fighters as “extremists” and “separatists” and observed that they were exercising violence against their compatriots who want to enjoy the right to education and who do not adhere to the slogan of disobedience. He added in his message to the youth that “The State shall take all appropriate measures to ensure that the exercise of this right [of education] is respected.”
However, Cameroon Intelligence Report has been informed that the socio-political situation in West Cameroon is so worrying and has limited Mr. Biya’s numerous private trips abroad. We got intelligence that he is planning to reshuffle both his cabinet and the political bureau of the ruling CPDM crime syndicate in order to win the support of the Anglophones. Our informant also hinted that Etoudi is now monitoring the happenings in the Central African Republic very meticulously. Biya attempted to name a replacement for his man, the late General Tumenta to head the UN force in Bangui, but the French outsmarted him and gotten a Senegalese army general. The too many internal and external crises are weakening the regime in Yaoundé.
By Soter Tarh Agbaw-Ebai



















14, February 2017
Consortium announces a major diplomatic victory 3
Dear people of Southern Cameroons,
Within the past weeks, the Consortium and other parties involved in this struggle have engaged in robust diplomatic moves. We are happy to inform you that on all fronts we are scoring resounding successes.
Take note that we have engaged four heavy weights both in Africa and elsewhere directly, and secured their firm support.
Because this information is too sensitive, given the nature of diplomatic negotiations, we are concealing the names of the partners concerned until the big day God has appointed for us to sing and dance in the new country.
We now have as duty to continue shutting down schools, refuse paying taxes, boycott camtel, Crtv, police/gendarme offices and take your case to Fons/Chiefs or Quarter heads and most importantly observing ghost towns on Mondays and Tuesdays until February ending when we would review our ghost town days.
We call on you reading us to pass this information in a text message through SMS back home. We are winning.
For the Consortium
Tassang, Bareta and Tapang